I am...What Exactly?

I don’t think a question has ever posed me so many much difficulty as answering the question of, who am I? I guess it says something unflattering about me, when I cannot make sense of myself. I can say for certain that I have never liked the question. It always seemed to me that in analyzing who I am, I would have to pick a best attribute or something in the same vein, while leaving out all of the complexities. In general it felt very disingenuous, that or I’ve been so many times defined by others, by what I’ve done or what I lack, that I no longer know how to define myself.  

I guess I should start as one does if one were meeting a stranger. Hi! I’m Yelainny Lopez, Lainny for preference, and I am a college student. I’m studying English Literature and Media studies in in the hope that someday I can do what seems to be something that I enjoy doing time and time again, living someone else’s life. I should rephrase, immersing myself in someone else’s reality sounds more like it. I only say this because I spend far too much time consuming media in some form or the other, even when I make a conscious effort not to. Whether I am immersed in a fiction novel, playing video games, watching an action film, watching a scripted drama (thank God for cable!), drawings, or even listening to music it seems that I spend too much time analyzing and enjoying someone else’s work instead of creating and enjoying my own.

This is not to say that I merely consume media. I am also a younger sister, a daughter, a friend, an aspiring writer, sometimes actress, and a music player (there’s a song for every occasion!). I can be selfish and greedy, I lie and I cheat, I’m often time lazy and lacking motivation and  although I am of the quite, silent onlooker, thinker disposition, when I find something that I enjoy I’m very passionate about the things I love. All in all I’m just a girl living in New York City trying to find herself in life.

http://wheresthelid.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/social-identity1.jpg (a picture that mirrors my thoughts when trying to answer this question)

No Doubt - I'm Just a Girl -  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHzOOQfhPFg (of course a little music that fits this assignment)